They Say it Happens Before it Happens

In a typical day my husband is up and out the door before my cute little squishy alarm clock wakes me. When he comes home we have about two and a half hours before putting the baby (formerly known as alarm clock) to bed and about two more hours before we settle down for the night ourselves. So out of twenty four hours in a typical weekday we get about two as a family and two for "just us". That doesn't seem like very much, but it's probably no less than any other family gets.

Recently we were given "pre-deployment leave". It's basically the government saying, "Yeah, we're going to take your husband away for a really long time. So go ahead and take two weeks to enjoy him before that happens."

We took the time to go to Washington to visit family and then to Florida to take a nice vacation. It was a great break from our routine. All of us, even little Elijah, had a wonderful time. We spent every hour of every day together; something we hadn't done for a long while.

But when we got back something, and nothing, changed. Before our vacation the deployment seemed like a far-off evil. It was something that would happen in the distant future and it wasn't something to be worried about just now.

After coming home, everything settled back into the old routine, but there was a different feeling to it. The knowledge of our impending separation seems to taint everything. It's about to happen, right around the corner, and we can feel it. Somehow it sneaked up on us while we were off having fun.

For him the difference is much more material than it is to me. He went from doing his normal duties to cleaning out his office, getting his uniforms ready, making sure he has all of his supplies, getting vaccinated, and packing his bags.

They say that for some time before a deployment the military man (or woman) will be mentally already overseas. Their body will be home, but they won't be. I can't say I've really experienced that yet. My husband, if anything, has more of a desire to be with his family and soak up all the time and love he can before he has to go. Maybe because it's a first deployment?

As for myself I have started inventing tasks to do and goals to reach to occupy myself while he's away. I have found in our previous separations (some lasting up to three months) that having his return be a deadline for some goal (a fun goal) makes the time move much more quickly.

One day closer...