Moving Right Along

It feels like nothing is happening, so it's easy to procrastinate with updates. I keep telling myself I'll write something when something interesting happens. But I still keep putting it off. So here I go, forcing myself to write.

Many a spouse of a deployed sailor/marine/soldier gets requests for things to send. "I need some new razors," one might say, "Send me some books to read," another will plead "I've really been craving some beef jerky," is heard a lot.

My husband, in his first email to me, asked for a popcorn popper. It sounds weird, but it gets weirder. He wants me to send him a huge, expensive, theater-style, electric popcorn popper so he can make very large quantities of popcorn. The reason (in case you're starting to think my husband is a lunatic) is that he wants to show movies for his marines on occasion and having a popcorn popper would be a good morale booster. Before he left he packed up all his favorite kung fu and action DVDs to take with him and bought about ten on iTunes to have on his hard drive. So he's got a nice library to choose from. I think he might have access to a projector and speakers also. All that's missing is the popcorn.

So he writes to me asking if I can buy and ship him one of those big poppers like you see at the carnival or in Target. How can I say no?

I start aGoogling and find one for the relatively cheap price of $200. Another $60 for a couple cases of popcorn and oil. The only problem is nowhere can I find a place that will ship to an FPO address. (That's the kind of address military folk get when they are sent overseas on deployment.) So I had to send it all to myself first.

So now I'm sitting here with a very large box (the machine) and two smaller-but-still-heavy boxes (the popcorn) sitting in my entryway and I'm thinking... I need to make sure this thing works!

To be continued...

One down...

Has it already been a week and a half? I can hardly believe it. The time seems to be flying by.

I suppose keeping busy helps. So much has happened, but I'm having trouble organizing it all into coherence. I'm getting used to being in charge of the things that he used to be in charge of, paying bills, putting gas in the car, and even being social. When he was home we would always be on his schedule and go where he would go with the people he wanted to be with. Now it's up to me, the introvert, to make sure our household doesn't become a hermitage. I think I'm managing it... with a little effort.

Elijah and I are putting together a care package to send to daddy. Every month here on base they have a "Care Package Day" on which you can send a special military flat-rate box overseas for free. This month it's on the 20th. So we've got to make some special things to send so that he knows how much we love and miss him. Elijah is going to send a "high five" (I'm going to trace his hand on a piece of paper.) I'm sending a card with a note inside. There will be some practical things in it, too, like trail mix, baby wipes, perhaps some razors and mouthwash. If anyone has a good idea for something to send let me know! I need all the advice I can get.

My husband's birthday is coming up soon, too. Someone kindly brought to my attention an online Cakery that will ship cakes directly to our servicemen overseas! So I'm going to send him a birthday cake! Here's the one I plan on sending. I think he'll like the coffee cake: Birthday Cake

Speaking of birthdays, Elijah's birthday is also coming up soon. As The Lord would have it, Elijah's birthday is the day after his daddy's. In the future we hope to be able to throw combined parties for them, or we can choose to have separate parties. It's a nice arrangement. This year they won't get to be together. We'll have to plan something to make it special anyway.

I get to arrange Elijah's first birthday party all by myself. Part of me wants to go WAY overboard, invite every family we know, hire a clown, rent a bouncy house and all that good stuff. But part of me also wants to just have two or three friends over, a few cupcakes, sing "happy birthday" and have that be it.

We'll see what happens I guess!

Toilet Training the Cat (Part 1)

As mentioned in a previous post I'm training Alice to use our family commode. I'm doing this for several reasons. 1. It will save a lot of money on kitty litter. 2. I don't like to clean litter boxes. 3. If we decide to have another child I won't have to worry about toxoplasmosis. 4. It's a cool trick!

I have done some reading up on the various methods of toilet training cats and have mixed a few of them together to accommodate our particular situation.

The first step was to make sure that Alice was, in fact, litter box trained. I acquired a small white litter box (about the size of our toilet bowl) and flush-able litter. I placed her box right next to the toilet. I intend to train her on the toilet in our master bathroom. I don't want her using the guest bathroom as I can foresee that leading to quite a shock to visitors.

For the first day she was with us I kept Alice shut up in our master bedroom with the door open to our bathroom and her litter box. This way I could make sure she knew where her box was and it would be easy to find any "accidents" if they did happen.

Step 1. Complete

The next phase in training involves raising the litter box to the same level as the toilet. Every day I will raise it up a little higher until she eventually has to jump up to get into it.

One book:

Two books:

You can see that I've taped the box in place. It wouldn't do to have a unstable litter box during her training.

Yesterday we got her toilet training kit in the mail! They shipped it very quickly. Once we're ready it will be exciting to start using it.

Free Video Chat and a City Kitty

I ended up mostly doing chores today. It started out being pretty boring and I'm sure you all don't want to read about laundry and shopping so I won't write about all that stuff.

But at around two in the afternoon my computer started ringing. I'll say that again; my computer started ringing!

Before my husband left we agreed to download a program called Skype which allows you to have free computer-to-computer video conversations. I had never used it before but I downloaded it and got my account set up and encouraged my husband to do the same. Then today (about 3:00 am for him) he decided to give me a call, and my computer started ringing...

I came to figure out what was going on. It all seemed so confusing and I wasn't sure what button to push to do what, but eventually we got it all figured out and were able to see each other and have a real conversation.

He asked how Elijah was doing and if he was walking yet (he's not), I asked if he was enjoying himself over there in whichever of those "-stan" countries he was in. He noticed some slight alteration in the room I was sitting in and told me to give the baby a big hug from daddy.

Then Alice came around the corner.

I must note that at this point my husband had no idea that I had adopted a cat. He doesn't read this blog, though he knows it's here, and hasn't been checking Facebook much. I hadn't volunteered the information to him either. If he had asked I wouldn't have lied, but I was counting on him not to ask and be surprised when he got home.

But then Alice came around the corner.

"What is that?" My husband asked, shock (but thankfully not anger) written all over his face.

"Bryan..." I picked up the cat. "Say hello to Alice."

Alice purred almost loud enough to be heard 7000 miles away.

"You got a cat?!?!" And then he started laughing.

I assured him that she was the sweetest ball of warm fur in the world and that Elijah already loved her.

And, after all, it's not like there was anything he could do about it...

Speaking of Alice I'm working on a special trick with her. You know how the worst part about having an indoor cat is the litter pan? Well, I'm going to get rid of it altogether.

I'm going to toilet train my cat!

That's right. We're working on a very gradual process of toilet training, and at the end of it all I hope to never have to buy or scoop cat litter again. It should all last about two weeks, but they say it all depends on the cat so we'll see. I'll keep this blog updated on how it's all going.

I've ordered a CitiKitty toilet training kit which should get here soon. But we've already begun the process.

Toilet training your cat:

Step 1. Move litter box into bathroom next to the toilet. Keep the lid of the toilet open at all times. Put only a small amount of flushable litter  in box. Complete!

Alice

Remember when I said that I had a list of goals and things to do while Bryan was deployed? Well, Item #1 on that list was to get a kitty for Elijah and I. The kitty needed to be an adult but not too old, already litter-box trained, very friendly, and good with babies. (A tall order, I know!)

Yesterday our local shelter was closed, so we went out and just got some supplies. Food, litter, brush, toys, treats, all that good stuff. It was a lot of fun and did a good job of taking my mind off of things. I was getting excited, especially when I saw how happy Elijah was when we saw the kitties at the PetSmart. He loves all things furry!

Today I decided on a game plan. We have a local "Palms and Paws" animal shelter and there is also the Morongo Basin Humane Society a little further off. If we didn't find what we were looking for at P&P I would go further away to try our luck there. I was a little pessimistic on finding exactly what I wanted. After all, if a cat is really friendly, good with babies, litter trained, and not old or sick why would anyone give it up?

We got to the shelter right when they opened at noon and they were already pretty busy. I asked if we could see the cats and the kind-looking lady at the desk directed us to a back room. We opened a door to find a room with a bunch of cats, a cat tree, a litter-box and some food and water. The cats were free to just roam about as they pleased and most of them were reclining on the tree or cowering in corners, but one cat, a fluffy white one with golden eyes, came right up to us. She sniffed my leg and then went to Elijah and sniffed him She meowed and purred and begged to be petted. She even continued purring when Elijah grabbed a fistful of her fur. (He didn't really pull on it, but most cats would have been rather indignant about such treatment.)

We stayed in the room for a few minutes and I greeted some of the other cats there. Most were friendly and enjoyed being petted and talked to. Those that weren't just ignored me and weren't aggressive at all. But the white cat was by far the friendliest there and I just had a feeling about her. She was perfect!

We went back to the desk and after about half an hour all the paperwork was signed and the kitty, named Alice, was on her way home with us!

When we got home one of the first things I did was trim her nails and apply Soft Claws. I wasn't afraid of her scratching me or the baby, but the lovey-dovey kneading thing that cats do isn't healthy for furniture and bedding. She tolerated the nail clipping like an angel and even though she struggled a little she purred the whole time. I can't believe what a sweetie she is!

So, without further adieu, here are some pictures!

Where is the good in "goodbye"?

Goodbyes are not forever.

Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you
Until we meet again!

This morning our alarm went off at 0300. (That's three in the morning, for you non-military folks.) Half-asleep still, I pulled on the clothing that I'd set out the night before a few hours earlier. Poor little Elijah was dragged out of bed and stuffed into a sweater to help him stay warm. Bryan took a shower, shaved, and donned his uniform.

We got there at about 0400. Other families wouldn't be showing up until later, but we have only the one vehicle and there was no way my husband was going to come back to pick me up after already getting there and in 'the zone'. So I really had no choice.

There was a long time of waiting. Elijah and I waited in the car. We went into the office and waited there. Finally we went outside and waited there. By that time there were more families assembled. Tears were falling all around me, but I put on a brave face. The smile on my husband's face showed that he obviously saw it all as an adventure. I wouldn't ruin it for him.

I knew then and know now that he is not happy about leaving. His eagerness was not a reflection of any indifference to us, just an excitement for his work, for a challenge, for adventure.

The big white military buses arrived and it was time for the marines to start boarding. My stomach tightened, but I didn't cry. Maybe I'm one of those people who needs a few days for sadness to really hit home.

They started boarding; the families wept. It was almost time.

We stole a few moments together to say goodbye. This will be the longest we've been apart since being married, perhaps even since we've met.

He got on the bus, and a few minutes later they were gone.

And now I can join with my sisters all across the country in saying that half of my heart is deployed.

Egg Hunt Mayhem

Yesterday we had a base-wide free egg hunt. The fliers that went around for it looked quite promising; advertising free cotton candy, snow-cones, face painting, pictures with Peter Cottontail, and egg hunts. It seemed like a great opportunity to build memories and take some adorable pictures.

We arrived promptly when the event began and snagged one of the very last parking spots available. Our friends who went with us got the last spot. The field was packed with people. I think the attendance for this event far exceeded the expectations of the people who were pulling it off.

As Elijah was wearing a WHITE suit and tie combo, I wanted to get his picture with the Easter Bunny before he did any crawling about in the grass. One of our friends informed us that the egg hunt for Elijah's age group didn't start until noon. That gave us about an hour to find the bunny and take a pic.

I was cheered by this until we finally found the bunny. The line waiting to see him stretched around the track almost the entire length of a football field.

We decided that it would be best to get in line right away if we wanted a picture with Peter Cottontail at all, and that if we ran out of time the mamas could go with the babies to do the egg hunt while the men-folk stayed in line.

Well, we did run out of time. So the mamas grabbed the babies and we rushed over to the field where ages 0 - 2 were supposed to "hunt" for eggs.

I should have known just by the look of things that it would not turn out well. There was a square of grass covered with eggs about the size of a suburban front lawn and, surrounding it, a mob of parents and children. It was like a pack of wolves, or hungry crocodiles at the zoo at feeding time, just waiting for the keepers to throw in the meat. The sheer numbers of  people there should have warned me. I don't profess to have a gift for spatial relationships, but if all of those people were to crowd into the area with eggs they would be standing shoulder-to-shoulder with barely room to move at all.

One of the workers walked into the field and held up three fingers. Then two. Then one.

Suddenly it was like someone had dropped blood into a shark tank. (yet another zoo analogy) The people rushed forward and the egg-patched was completely obscured by bodies of doting parents seeking prized plastic eggs for their babies and toddlers.

It was a mob, a stampede, insanity. And I have a picture to prove it! This is a shot looking right into the area where the eggs were. You can barely see the ground! Let alone any eggs!

It took my friend and I about three seconds to decide that we had better skip this whole egg-hunt thing and get back to the bunny.

It didn't take long to get to Peter Cottontail and we got our free snapshot:

While we were having a snack afterwords they announced that the little ones would be allowed to join in the next age group's hunt since so many weren't able to get any eggs.
Well, that hunt didn't work out so well, either. It turns out that little kids have a tendency to be greedy, and there were a LOT of little kids there.

We were able to get a few eggs from one of the staff and went to have our own egg hunt on a neighboring field. We were got some great pictures and let the little ones finally have some fun crawling in the grass.

Fun on Friday

Today my husband was going to have one last rock climbing day. (On a side note, my husband is fanatical about rock climbing.) He was expecting the whole day off but got called in early in the morning for some stuff that had come up last minute. He was able to get some climbing in but not as much as he really wanted. So tonight I'm taking him out to see Clash of the Titans as a special treat. He's been excited about that movie ever since he first saw the trailer in theaters months ago.

Today Elijah and I also got a special treat. Our neighbor friend dropped her daughter off with us for a few hours. The daughter is almost exactly one month older than Elijah and they always have a lot of fun together.






That's one of the great things about living on a military base, I think. The community is really tight. There are always families around you who understand what you're going through and if they haven't been there themselves they will be.

Tomorrow we go to an Easter egg hunt and afterwords the same family will watch Elijah while we go out. Nice trade off, right?




- Posted from my iPhone

They Say it Happens Before it Happens

In a typical day my husband is up and out the door before my cute little squishy alarm clock wakes me. When he comes home we have about two and a half hours before putting the baby (formerly known as alarm clock) to bed and about two more hours before we settle down for the night ourselves. So out of twenty four hours in a typical weekday we get about two as a family and two for "just us". That doesn't seem like very much, but it's probably no less than any other family gets.

Recently we were given "pre-deployment leave". It's basically the government saying, "Yeah, we're going to take your husband away for a really long time. So go ahead and take two weeks to enjoy him before that happens."

We took the time to go to Washington to visit family and then to Florida to take a nice vacation. It was a great break from our routine. All of us, even little Elijah, had a wonderful time. We spent every hour of every day together; something we hadn't done for a long while.

But when we got back something, and nothing, changed. Before our vacation the deployment seemed like a far-off evil. It was something that would happen in the distant future and it wasn't something to be worried about just now.

After coming home, everything settled back into the old routine, but there was a different feeling to it. The knowledge of our impending separation seems to taint everything. It's about to happen, right around the corner, and we can feel it. Somehow it sneaked up on us while we were off having fun.

For him the difference is much more material than it is to me. He went from doing his normal duties to cleaning out his office, getting his uniforms ready, making sure he has all of his supplies, getting vaccinated, and packing his bags.

They say that for some time before a deployment the military man (or woman) will be mentally already overseas. Their body will be home, but they won't be. I can't say I've really experienced that yet. My husband, if anything, has more of a desire to be with his family and soak up all the time and love he can before he has to go. Maybe because it's a first deployment?

As for myself I have started inventing tasks to do and goals to reach to occupy myself while he's away. I have found in our previous separations (some lasting up to three months) that having his return be a deadline for some goal (a fun goal) makes the time move much more quickly.

One day closer...