Tic Toc Tic Toc

Every room in the house testifies to it: the packing mess in the family room; the uniforms piled on the dryer; the pile of camo and tech gear in the bedroom; even the daddy doll in the baby's room. Every day it feels like the air pressure increases, the tension rises.

"Are you okay?" I'm frequently asked by my husband.
"Are you ready?" Kind-hearted souls ask at the chapel on Sunday.

It's almost funny. I remember those same questions being asked (to the point of irritation) when I was nine months pregnant.
Am I ok? How does a woman know if she is ready for her husband, and the father of her child, to leave for over half a year? Leave to the other side of the world where unknown hazards exist which might return him in otherwise than pristine condition. Or may not return him at all...

But we aren't supposed to dwell on that. It isn't beneficial for anybody.

When he comes home we will have been gone for seven months. But, of course Uncle Sam may-and frequently does-change his mind. By that time our son, Elijah, will be 18 months old. He's almost 11 months now and not yet walking. My husband's biggest concern is that Elijah won't recognize who daddy is when he comes home.

My biggest concern is that I won't be able to handle things by myself. I can plan meals, clean the house (usually...), take care of the baby, cook, and shop with skill. But I'm also the kind of wife that will say "Honey, I need a big strong man to open this jar of pickles," and mean it, too. I'm worried I won't be able to manage if something comes up. What if the car breaks down? What if something happens with our finances and he stops receiving his paychecks? (It wouldn't be the first time.)

Of course, it doesn't do to dwell on "what ifs", not beneficial for anyone...

It would be imprudent of me to post here when the big day is. As the old saying goes: "Loose lips sink ships," or in this case they might plant a terrorist bomb on the road their buses will be taking. But it is a matter of days, not weeks or months anymore. Days.

It is going to be our first deployment. He's going to Afghanistan with an engineering battalion. I can see that part of him is excited for the adventure. Part of me is, too. I've heard other military wives say that, once you get in the groove, its not so bad. There's more money and less laundry! Then once he comes home you get irritated with this "stranger" coming into your house and getting all up in your business!

We'll see, I guess. For now, all I can do is wait for the big day and pray.